Google Determines The Fate Of The Earth

So I wasn't with the game and managed to discover the single most amazing site on the internet just last week. For those of you equally clueless or whom has yet to designate this as only the coolest site ever (is it just me or did that sound blonde to everybody....) I present to you: Googlefight - A web service that allow users to establish which of two entities are superior to the other. Period. With its vastly complicated and advanced matrix this is a site that will resolve century-old squabbles for good. There is no reason to doubt its findings or even to question its flawless system. Everything that it says is correct and must be fully accepted. Thus the might of Googlefight.

I started off with an encounter between Googlefight and Yahoofight. The result?

It wasn't even close. Google walks all over yahoo disposing its dead body in the trash. Does this make google the new yahoo? Is google now in and yahoo out??? I formulated the next clash between google and yahoo and....

Yahoo wins round two and claws its way back in!!!! They are now tied... but round 3 is just round the corner. Who will finally be crowned as the superior seach engine??

Its unanimous!!! Google is obviously vastly superior to yahoo!!!!!!!! Everyone should stop using yahoo and switched to Google (notice how I capitalized G for Google but not y for yahoo. This is obviously meant to degrade yahoo and ridicule anyone who insist on utilizing it).

Next I determined how people around the world spend their time. Are we now at a crossroad where most people are becoming progressively more intellectual and are aware how important it really is to put aside time for boardgames? Or are most social outcasts who find their special place in sports?

Oh please help!! What freaks we have around us!!! No wonder the world is in the sorry state its in now... if only more people would hop over we would all be living in a better place.

Where do most people spend their time?

Close one. Looks like we've still got some work to do.

And names.. what about names.

Score. I've always known I was called something special. A second clash confirmed this beyond all doubt.

And the most watched tv series?

Obviously escaping from prison is far more exciting. Who wants to watch a drama about body parts?

Ah but wait a second... what about the characters themselves? Who does the public actually want to be?

The surgeon hands down. Why settle for a psychiatric engineer turn inmate when you can be the best neurosurgeon in Texas? Wait hang on... he's my guy. And he's saving his innocent brother from prison... this is all wrong!!!! Doesn't morals mean anything to anyone?

Now what about the ladies? Who is the fairest of them all?

Clearly the public disapproves of Meredith's entangled personal life. This goes to show that even in our fallen world sometimes having just one partner can be better than multiple.

Now lets move on to food.

One for the Asians. I love rice.

Hm... looks like the Italians won't take this lying down. 1-1. We need a tie-breaker.

WOWEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! The Italians receive a hiding and its finally settled for good. Asian food rules. Good ol' chow mein.

Hm... close one. But is it really accurate? Oh wait a minute... we're not suppposed to question.

Next we try to pick out the more superior of 2 countries.

Dang. The Kiwis are one up. But fear not. Coming up we have our extremely capable capital watching our back.

This is shocking!!! Has nobody got any respect for our country?!?!?!?!? Things aren't looking good as New Zealand pulls ahead. However after a round of intense strategical discussion between the races of Malaysia we decided it was time to pull out our secret weapon. Those birds won't know what hit them!! The once tallest structure in the world versus an aged casino.

Is this country invincible???? Is nothing we have good enough???? What is this? A conspiracy??? And the tussle comes to an end as Malaysia is left licking her wounds. There's only one more thing left to do now: if you lose at least do so by a reasonable margin. And there's no time to breathe! With the score now at 3-0 and Round 4 taking place the next brawl involves the ultimate clash of civilizations. A humble drink found by the road is matched up against a franchise of beans. The Milo Ice vs Robert Harris's Coffee.

And what a match it was!!!!!!!!! The meek Milo Ice in typical Malaysia Boleh style almost wrangled victory from the hands of its posh opponent!! Alas a win is a win and Malaysia succumbs to its 4th straight defeat in a row. Can the Kiwis now complete a clean sweep over the once proud nation? Finally.... last but not least.... coming face to face with each other for the 27th time.... introducing the most notorious districts in both cities... Chow Kit vs K Road!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes... finally... the torture is over as the Kiwis walk away from a match that was theirs right from the beginning. Who was I kidding... the Malaysians never stood a chance against this small but burly nation of 4,000,000. Maybe next time... in a couple of years... we would be better prepared to face off with our Australasia neighbour. But until then New Zealand has all the right to bask in the glory of its victory, but only for 4 years before it is once again summoned to compete in the next Googlefight World Cup 2010 in Heinan, China.

Now time to do away with the circus and move on to more serious matters.

Its good that people know how to live properly.

All the fault of sitcoms the likes of Grey's Anatomy, Scrub, ER and House that glorifies medicine. Not all consultants look like Shepherd. And no interns look like Izzy.

Ha. Just wait till YOU get voted off.

Agree.

They will catch him. You just wait.

This is just wrong.

Even worse.

I wouldn't mind either.

Poster boy wins.

Yeah.

And finally I posed Googlefight the ultimate question: Can we even believe anything you say?